Showing posts with label Dating Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dating Life. Show all posts

Friday, August 2, 2013

7 Quick Takes Vol. 14


1.       Well, for those of you who follow my other blog (the one I actually write on), you might have noticed that I’ve been growing more casual and sarcastic (or do I repeat myself?). That’s a feature, not a bug. I’ve decided to embrace my some-what abrasive, introverted personality and just kinda run with it. There are a number of reasons why, most revolving around the fact that trying to hide or subsume it doesn’t actually seem to have helped much in the ol’ socialization department, so why bother?

2.       One of the nice things I’ve been noticing about Online Dating is that it’s kinda forcing me to put myself forward, whether because it’s really hard to get in touch with anyone (I confess; I tried with one girl three times without getting a peep in response. Might have been rude, but I had to consider: possibility of someone I’ll never meet having a low opinion of me that she’ll quickly forget all about versus…well, let’s just say it wasn’t even close), or just because I’ve been hanging out on the forums and having people laugh at my wry comments. A little positive reinforcement goes a long way.

3.       By the way, sometimes I wonder whether I’m being too picky with the dating thing. Then I think; ‘well, what the heck should I be picky about if not this?’ So, yeah, I’m going in with high standards; not so much anything specific (beyond religious/political agreement) as that I’m looking for someone who stands out to me somehow as being particularly unique or smart or quirky. And if she happens to also be a petite brunette with glasses, well so much the better.

4.       So, I’m getting down to the wire with Chronicles of Hendricks. Let me explain how I’m working: I pretty much just write whatever scene I feel like, but there’s a ‘main thrust’ of the story, which means a more-or-less complete block of text starting from the beginning. At the moment, the whole book largely consists of three big chunks; the main thrust, another from slightly later on, and the ending. In other words, it’s actually coalescing into a single, solid whole. Do you remember when the T-1000 got shattered at the end of T2, and then the droplets all came together until it reformed itself? That’s kind of what my writing technique looks like. Right now, it is finally assuming a more or less human form.

5.       Okay, the heck with analogies. The point is that I have set myself a final deadline to have the whole thing done (or at least, in a presentable form) by the 23rd of August, at which point I will begin posting it in serial form at a private blog that I will set up for the purpose. More information on that as we get closer.

6.       After having deleted Minecraft for the third time (the thing soaks up time like a vacuum cleaner), I decided last weekend to reinstall it, though with strict limitations (honestly, writing and Online Dating are usually more fun anyway, but sometimes you just need to turn off the brain). Mostly it’s because I’ve found that it’s a great way to listen to audio books when you’re not driving; you just turn off the background music and it gives you something to do during the long, long hours of Nicholas Nickelby. It’s surprisingly easy to pay attention to both at the same time, and it makes you feel like you’ve actually done something worthwhile while you were lost underground hunting for diamonds.

7.       On Tuesday of this week I walked to and from work (roughly three miles one way), something I’ve been meaning to do all summer. On the way there I worked out a number of troublesome plotting problems and came up with a lot of great ideas. On the way back I was mostly saying Army cadences to myself (they really do work, by the way). I don’t know whether that was because I was tired after a long day at work or because the route I took back (I took different routes to and from to see which works better) was a lot longer, less direct, and hence tiring. Incidentally, my legs were incredibly stiff and sore all evening after that. Can’t wait to try it again next week!

Friday, July 26, 2013

7 Quick Takes Vol. 13

It’s the Online Dating Edition of 7 Quick Takes! Some background; I started an online-dating account at Catholic Match.com about a month or so ago, and I’ve come to the following conclusions:

1.       First, let me say that Catholic Match has this thing were there’s both a paid account (which let’s actually communicate with the other users) and an unpaid account (which doesn’t). I guess I can understand the thinking behind this (it's exactly the same policy behind porn sites: lure them in with pretty girls and then GRAB ‘EM!). What I can’t understand is why THERE’S NO WAY TO TELL IF A GIVEN PERSON HAS A PAID ACCOUNT OR NOT! Meaning that it’s entirely possible to find what appears to be a great girl and not only not be able to get in touch with her, but to have no way of knowing whether you even can get in touch with her! I hate, hate, HATE that policy!  

2.       A lot of people need to put more thought into their ‘about me’ profiles. I swear, at least three-quarters of them start with some variation of “I love my family and I’m passionate about my faith!” Yeah, I kind of assumed that you’re into your faith, seeing as how you’re on a Catholic dating site and you checked off the “I accept all Church teachings” option. And I’m glad you love your family, but as far as relationships go, that’s…frankly not the first question I would ask. ‘What are you passionate about? How would you describe your personality? What do you want out of life?’ Those would be the questions to deal with upfront, not confirming that, yes, you came to a Catholic dating site because you are indeed Catholic.

3.       And while we’re on the subject, I realize fifty words (usually the above “I’m Catholic and I love my family” line) ending with “message me if you want to know more!” sounds all humble and enticing and stuff, but from my perspective it’s just annoying. The idea of these ‘about me’ things is to give a broad overview so that people can see whether or not you have similar personalities or interests. If I have no idea what you’re into, or what you might like to talk about, I’m probably not going to message you with basic questions like that. There’s enough drama and frustrations in the dating world without having to spend a week of e-mailing/chatting back and forth only to discover that we have nothing in common, which you could have let me know right away by filling out your bloody profile a bit more! Seriously, how hard is it to say “I’m into horses, literature, and my hobby is making pipe-bombs”?  (incidentally, if your hobby is pipe-bombs, that’s an automatic 'message that person!’ for me). Not only does it help me to judge whether I want to get in touch with you, but having a unique, interesting hobby (i.e. pipe-bombs) makes you all the more attractive. Don’t be shy! Fill out everything you can!

4.       Girls, don’t let your profile pic sell you short. I’ve seen tons and tons of dark, fuzzy, red-eyed, and just-plain-bad profile photos. The thing is, about half the time if I do click on their profile, I find a half-a-dozen other, much better pictures. Why wouldn’t you use one of the ones that actually make you look pretty, instead of the one that makes you look like it was taken when you had been up for forty-eight hours straight and/or had been recently possessed?
Two more things: one, make sure that at lest one photo on your profile actually shows your undistorted face (framed in shadows or a hundred feet from the camera doesn't count). I'm not going to be asking that bridge you're posing on for a date; I want to see what you look like. Two, for goodness sakes, smile! Do you really think you’ll attract a guy to check out your profile by glaring sullenly into the camera? “Wow, she looks like she hasn’t laughed since the Clinton administration: be still my heart!” 

5.       On a related note, some advice for guys interested in trying this sort of thing: don’t necessarily judge how attractive the girl is just by her profile pic. Sometimes it gives you a good idea of her appearance, sometimes it doesn’t. I’ve had the following happen a number of times when I go to view a profile: *search page* “okay, she’s not bad looking…” *click* “AI CHIHUAHUA!”

6.       If you think it might be less frustrating than normal dating (as I foolishly did), you’re in for a very rude awakening. Here are some typical interactions:

Me: “Hey, I like your profile; I’m into that sort of thing too! Want to talk sometime?”
Her: *No response*

Me: “Wow, you’re really pretty and funny! Let me know if you want to chat or email!”
Her: *No response*

Me: “Judging from your profile, you’re exactly what I’ve been hoping to find! I think you’re fascinating, gorgeous, and funny and I’d love to try to get to know you better.”
Her: *No response*

Me: “GAAAAAAAHHHH! WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER?!?!”
Her: *No response*

7.       Despite the above, it’s actually easier to keep a hopeful attitude in this sort of thing. As you peruse, you get to thinking “wow, there are a lot of beautiful women out there who share at least some of my interests!” It’s an encouraging thought.