Work Thoughts

Today is my first full day sitting out in the lobby.

See, we've done some re-arranging where I work, and as part of that process my desk got moved out to the lobby. This means that I'm rather isolated from the rest of the building, but also that I get a door, a lot of space, and big windows to look of (it also means that people are less likely to notice if I'm updating my blog at work).

Thoughts:

8:15 AM You know, the constantly-looping TV isn't as annoying as I thought it would be; I can pretty much tune it out whenever I want.

9:30 AM  My boss seems to worry about whether I mind being out here.

10:49 AM Receiving a few calls, dealing with invoices, doodling a few cartoons...feel like a genuine receptionist!

11:30 AM Someone just received a 60-lbs package and he's not at his desk!

11:40 AM Lunch time!

12:40 PM Back from lunch!

1:12 PM Always so tired after lunch: why can't the day end with lunch?

2:16 PM I really like Alfred Edward Housman!

2:40 PM An interesting effect: there's a hallway that runs pretty much the length of the building which begins right outside the frosted-glass door to the lobby. That means I can see someone's shadow on the glass as they walk all the way down the hall. The effect is kind of creepy: like they're just walking and walking, but not going anywhere.

3:08 PM Writing pithy political jokes...

3:48 PM Time to start packing up...

Momento Mori

Every so often, I will remember the fact that every day could be my last and that I need to seize the moment and get busy living.

The trouble with these moments is that there seem to be a lot of things on my "try to do before you die" list. The result tends to be a rather overwhelming set of tasks that I suddenly remember I need to get to work on (write another chapter, no a blog post, no say a Rosary, no try to meet up with a friend, no write another e-mail to *redacted*, no practice Italian, no...).

I tend to over think things, especially 'hypothetical' or theoretical (or whatever '-etical' you would call it) propositions. If someone says "imagine this is your last day on Earth..." it doesn't really motivate me because I think of what I would do if I literally knew this was my last day on Earth, and those things definitely wouldn't include going to work or writing another chapter of a book I'd never finish.

More useful is the simple awareness that there is no gaurantee of tomorrow...or, heck, even another hour. Though, again, this tends to put me into panic mode where I try to think of all the things I want to do and it's like they get stuck trying to get through the door of my mind ("The three-stooges syndrome").

Momento Mori is like the nuclear option of motivation: the tricky part is channelling the energy productively, rather than letting it just spread out in confusion and eventually dissipate.

On my lack of blogging

I tend to blog in fits and starts. When I'm feeling good or energetic, I blog more. When I'm depressed or unhappy, I blog less.

That conclusion you're drawing about the last week or so? Probably correct.

The thing is, blogging and writing in general is therapeutic, but it requires a good deal of effort. When I'm depressed, I don't feel like making any kind of effort, even when I know it'll help.

Why, no, now that you mention it, that isn't a very sensible attitude.

So why don't I make the bloody effort and start blogging again if I know it'll perk me up? Well, honestly gentle reader, what do you think the point of this post is?

To conclude, here are some quotes currently floating around in my head (because I love quotes!)

"Sadness is just another word for 'not enough coffee'"
-Wally, Dilbert

"Had I such a wife, I would not willingly bring a tear to her beautiful eye!"
-Andrew Jackson, after seeing Lewis Robards yelling at Robards then-wife, Rachel, later Jackson's wife.

"A page of history is worth a volume of logic."
-Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.

Calvin's Mom (on the phone): "WHAT DO YOU MEAN CALVIN LEFT HIS CLOTHES AT SUSIE'S!?"
-Calvin and Hobbes

Thoughts at Work

9:37 AM
Oh, good! Another company has split one purchase order between two invoices, requiring me to create two distinct receipt numbers! I'm going to go read some politics to cheer me up...yep, Obama's still incompetant and possibly evil. Still, at least he makes more sense than SAP.

10:05 AM
Italian Wikipedia doesn't have an article on Solanus Casey...though it does have a fairly elaborate one on Padre Pio. 'E Stato' apparently means 'was:' it shows up all the time in wikipedia articles...

10:25 AM
Most people are in meetings, and since I need their information that means I can't do any work right now...

10:43 AM
Work, work, listen to co-workers chatting, work...

10:55 AM
Morrison Industrial! "I am the lizard king!"

11:36 AM
As a side note, you can tell the Democrats are feeling confident about this election since it's not like they're doing anything really childish like comparing Romney to a Batman villain or anything pathetic like that...oh, wait.

11:41 AM
I think I'm gonna go to lunch...

12:45 PM
Mmm, good lunch!

12:50 PM
Blogging about the whole 'Bain=Bane' thing...

1:51 PM
Just went and got the mail. Reading about the Battle of the Teutoburg Forest on Wikipedia. Two more hours...

2:10 PM
Did Pyrrhus do anything right?

2:39 PM
Starting to get to the 'I think I drank too much coffee' phase of the day.

3:50 PM
My car is ready to be picked up from the service center, so I'm leaving.

On what I don't write about

I just got back from a delightful visit to my sister in Maine and her adorable daughter (who just turned one this last week! *party-favor-noise*!). While I was there we had a little while to talk about writing and blogging and the like. She mentioned that she likes reading about day-to-day life, random thoughts, and personal reflections and that sort of thing.

I don't really blog much about day-to-day life, because frankly I think my day-to-day life is pretty boring: I go to work and sit rather numbly in an office all day, doing dull administrative jobs, writing, reading politics, and occasionally chatting with my co-workers. At home I read or sit on the computer, occasionally exercising or trying to learn guitar. Not a whole lot of gist to write about.

The interesting points in my life, the things that occupy most of my non-writing-related thoughts meanwhile, tend to be too private to post online. They're things I want to keep closer to chest (so to speak) until I have a better grasp on them. I hope, in the future, to be able to write about them, but for the moment I am being delicate and cautious. Plus, I think I'm naturally a rather private person; partially from bad past experiences and partially because of a rather pathological desire not to bother anyone with my own petty grievances :).

In any case, certain topics of my concern are, for the time being, off-limits blogwise. If any become suddenly available (which, in case you are confused on the subject, would be a very good thing), I'll be sure to alert you that this is one of those 'Forbidden' subjects before launching into it.

Fr. Solanus and Ice Cream

I visited the Solanus Casey Center in Detroit the other day (mostly because a good friend of mine volunteers there and it was a chance to hang out with her for a while). During the tour, she recounted one of the most amusing miracle stories I've ever heard. It seems Fr. Solanus was sitting at his desk one particularly hot day enjoying a chocolate ice-cream cone when he had one of his visitors seeking his spiritual direction. For reasons best known to himself, he stuck the ice cream in his desk drawer and went out to meet the visitor. They talked for an hour or so and Fr. Solanus went back to his desk, retrieved the (miraculously still frozen) ice cream, and continued his tasty treat.

There's such a beautiful simplicity to that story, and a rather humorous indulgence on God's part. The thought seems to be "Solanus is doing My work, so he deserves that ice cream." I love casualness on display here; Fr. Solanus simply drops everything to go minister, then picks it back up again when he's finished. It's the kind of simplicity and ease that I wish I could imitate in my own relationship with God.

Day 3: Imagine You Are a Baby

Imagine you are a baby. Look around the room - see everything for the first time! Describe.

There’s a space…a space outside me! I wonder if there’s anything outside of it? There’s definitely an end to the space though: white borders all around. There are big blocks in front of all the borders too: some of them are very flat, others kind of stick out a little. Most of them have different colors on them, especially the ones that stick out. One of the flat ones is kind of odd; it glows a little it’s nice to look at. Then in front of that there’s a weird black thing; it doesn’t really have a shape. I don’t think I like that one very much, it's a little scary. Whatever I’m sitting on sure is comfortable, but it keeps moving whenever I move. I’m not sure I like that. There’s some grey stuff beneath me, that must be another border. And on it there’s a group of lumpy little objects; they don’t look very interesting. There’s also a curvy black thing. Maybe it’s the same sort of thing as that other black thing, the one I didn’t like? This one is much nicer looking. There’s also a curvy brown thing a little ways away from it. That looks like the most interesting thing in the place: I’d like to roll it around a little and see what happens. Oh, and there’s a green thing in front of the flat glowing block. It’s moving a little, but it looks interesting. Actually, it looks kind of tasty. I'd like to try out that curvy brown thing now...